Your Happiness Is Determined By The Suffering You’re Willing To Endure
There have been times in my life where I was unhappy; this statement can probably be said about every human being on this planet. We are all individual emotional roller coasters. We swing to different emotions all the time. However, a state of happiness is desired by everyone, but not many people understand what the state of happiness is.
Happiness Is Not Forever State
When people say, they are happy they usually mean they are happy right now. Happiness is not a state that stays once your “find” it. Your ability to stay happy is going to depend on a couple of critical indicators.
I will tell you a couple of examples of what I mean by happiness not being a forever or permanent state. When I was in the middle of my football career, I wanted to make the senior varsity team, not only that I wanted to start.
The issue was this; there was a veteran who was both older than me but also much more experienced than I was. He was expected to start, but he was not going to be able to start the season for some reason or another. So I got the ability to start the first three games of the season, but then he came back and was put in the starting role.
I was Happy when I was starting but was reasonably unhappy about someone coming in and taking my position that I believed earned.
However, the fact that he I now had a problem or a roadblock in the way it pushed me to work harder which in turn made me happy. I ended up becoming a team captain and all-star two years in a row. The point is this; once I found happiness, it went away, then it came back. We ebb and flow with happiness and finding it will come from places that are unexpected.
Finding The Problems Your Enjoy Solving
We encounter problems all the time. The life of the human animal is surrounded by problems. Some we hate and some we do not mind. I suggest or hypothesize that the problems you tackle in your daily life that are not that big of a pain the ass to you is where you will find that happiness. Let me explain.
We are constantly solving problems, every day there is an issue for one reason or another. These problems can make us pissy, or we can look forward to solving these problems. I will go even deeper.
For example, for me, a daily problem that I have to solve that drives me up the wall is cleaning. I do not know what it is about it that pisses me off, but it does. However, another problem that I love solving is what am I going to do for a workout or training session that day.
You see for me that is where I find my happiness is in solving the problem of increases performance. Now if you were to take someone else they may be the complete opposite, they may love cleaning but hate working out. The real issue is seeking out the problems in your life that you LOVE to solve. Your happiness will be rooted right in those issues.
Suffering Has Value
You have to understand something. The majority of suffering we go through is only serving to make us better people if we can endure the said suffering. There are of course circumstances that would make me a liar because the suffering is so awful.
However, the book “Mans Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl is a great example of a man going through one of the worst showcasing of human suffering and championing through it with a stoic mindset and a level of gratitude not many have seen.
The value of suffering is not a measurable attribute but none the less the things we go through that test our mental, and physical capabilities can serve to show us what we are made of. What we can accomplish as human beings and that is important. Do not shy away from things that may seem hard or uncomfortable. A new sense of well being and life can and probably is on the other side of it!
Building A Better Tomorrow
I hate to sound like an old man, but we are building a system that prioritizes safe spaces. As opposed to prioritizing the increase in our human potential. This notion that making it easier for the kids of today being a good idea only serves to lessen our resolve. Now before I get attacked by people here let me explain.
I am all for people having a choice in life, living a life they feel is truly theirs. However no matter the choices you make, or who you want to become the notion that you need to hide from the world because of those choices is absurd.
Whether you are part of the LGBTQ community, a racial minority, white, male, female, or gender fluid, it does not matter. This world we live in is filled with harsh truths and even harsher people. They will question you, hate you and belittle you. But the answer is not in violence, or in need a safe space away from criticism.
What is needed is a stoic approach. An understanding that what you are going through is a by-product of humanity as shitty as that may be. Facts are there are some shitty people in this world. Your happiness is not dictated by what someone thinks, says, or does. It is found within the problems you are willing to solve or the suffering you are ready to endure.
Be proud of who you are but do not shove it on others. Do not allow others to push their ideas on you. We need to learn to build a better tomorrow by accepting the hardships we face as a gift; they are making us into better people whether you want to believe it or not.
Your happiness is not going to come by obtaining more things or going new places. The happiness you seek will be found in the problems and the suffering we endure. Overcoming adversity with strength or adverse per fortitude. Finding those problems you want to will lead you down the road to what your true calling is. As arbitrary as this statement may be it is true.
If you love something a math problem, or an engineering problem or love solving the problem of fitness all of these issues will lead you down a different road. Bringing you to what is honestly going to make you happy. All of the sufferings that you will face down that path will serve to make you a stronger person.
Both mentally and physically as long as you attack the pain with the right mindset and not allow it to destroy you. We are all living on this blue dot in the middle of a vast universe. May as well all accept each other while making ourselves a little bit happier and just that much stronger!